Self-confidence is one of those things that you may not know you’re missing. You can go through life wondering why things don’t quite work out for you. You might find you worry about why people hired you, and the pressure means you perform below expectations. It could be that you don’t speak up or share your opinions. It could be you’re a working mum and you’re scared about your role at work after maternity leave. Self-confidence impacts upon women in many different ways and for many different reasons.
If you’re lacking in self-confidence, do not mope or feel bad! I promise you everyone feels less confident about their self at some point in their lives, and this is okay and perfectly normal. It is how you react that is the most important.
So let’s look at 7 ways to build your self-confidence.
1. Think positively
Negative thoughts can diminish your sense of self-worth. If you believe you can’t do something, chances are you won’t be able to do it. Try to focus only on positive thoughts. Positive actions usually result in positive things because you are more willing to give it your best try. When you complete a task, instead of thinking “I didn’t do that well” say “I did great because I completed a tough task” even if you don’t believe it. The mind doesn’t change instantly, you’ll have to tell it the new way of thinking several times, and in turn this will build up your self-confidence.
2. Be prepared
The best way to build your self-confidence is to be prepared. If you are not ready for what you are about to do then you will feel less confident in your ability. Read / learn / gain the knowledge you need feel confident and to complete the task. For example, if you need to present an idea to someone, gain all the knowledge you can about the topic so that you are sure in yourself and your ability to accurately present it. Rehearse the presentation several times to yourself (or to your sandwiches over lunch) so you can present your idea fluently, and then take a deep breath and believe that you can do it. And you will.
3. Get to know yourself and project confidence
If you don’t have an accurate picture of who you are, you won’t be able to gain self-confidence. Take a moment each day to listen to yourself. Listen to the thoughts you have and write them down. Write down your strengths and weaknesses without being harsh and negative – be realistic. Think about it this way: to beat someone in a competition, you learn about them so you know how win. Essentially, you are doing the same thing so you know which areas need work to gain self-confidence.
4. Identify your fears and work through them
More than likely, you lack self-confidence because you fear the end results. I know the feeling. I’ve felt this way several times in my life. Some people are scared of “not knowing”, I get scared of the end outcome. You fear failing something. Failing isn’t always a bad thing because it gives you the knowledge you need to become successful later. The more you work through, and overcome your fears, the more self-confidence you will gain.
5. Identify your positive traits
Identifying your positive traits is a great way to avoid negative thoughts. It also gives you reassurance that you are worthy. If you only focus on your bad attributes, you will feel hopeless and feel as though you are worthless. You’re not. Celebrate your positive traits, they also make you who you are.
6. Identify what you think will help make you confident
Everyone feels confident in different ways. For some women it’s a bright red lipstick, for others it’s the clothes they wear or gaining knowledge on a certain subject. Either way, it’s important to identify these, which are personal to you, and to create goals around them. There’s nothing more satisfying than working towards and achieving your goals. Treat yourself – a day of positive thinking = new lipstick. A weekend where you work through your fears, Divergent-style; ziplining from skyscrapers isn’t essential. Working through your fears slowly and surely will help you feel more confident than you can imagine!
7. Change your posture
Stand up straight, get your bra fitted properly, and wear clothes that fit. This is a very quick self-confidence win. If you look confident, you will start to feel it. A tailored suit or blouse will enhance what you’ve got and is a worthwhile investment. Combined with the right underwear, you’ll find you’ll outwardly look confident.
Self-confidence can be achieved if you do the work and it doesn’t take long at all. Thinking positively avoids negative thoughts to keep your self-esteem high. Being prepared leads to a higher sense of self-worth because you have the knowledge you need to succeed. If you understand yourself fully, work through your fears and show off your positive traits, dress for success, you’re on the fast track to the self-confidence you desire to lead the life of your dreams.
Thanks to Rosanne Berry for this guest post. Rosanne helps women wear the right type of underwear for their shape. Based in London, she fits bras up to a size N. She knows that women come in all shapes and size and loves the feeling of confidence that the right fitting bra brings. If you get in touch, please let her know you found her via Sherry Bevan.