In some of the mums groups I belong to on Facebook, I notice how mums notice what other mums do. It’s beautiful. And sometimes very moving. It’s something I encourage others to do too. What about you? Do you notice what other mums do? Do other mums notice what you do?
Or do you feel the invisibility of motherhood?
This is a lovely quote from my book The Confident Mother. It is from an interview with the incredible Miriam McCaleb. Miriam has worked as university lecturer, an early childhood teacher and a parenting educator. When I interviewed her in New Zealand nearly two years ago, she was on maternity leave. Our topic of choice was about how to nurture your child’s brain development in the early years.
This is what Miriam said:
“What I’ve noticed lately is the invisibility of motherhood. Not just the raising babies, but the keeping of the castle, the laundry, cooking the meals, cleaning the toilets, the vast majority of motherhood is invisible. As a mum, I’ve been feeling the invisibility of that. What I’m working to do in my world, and what I ask of all mums, is to notice each other. Notice the work that only we are going to recognise.”
There are some fabulous interviews in my book … perhaps something to add to your wishlist for the end of December (too soon for the C word).
This week I encourage you to notice the work that mums do and that only we, as mums, are going to recognise. Notice those millions of ways that we demonstrate our love every day.
Cleaning toilets etc is invisible. The reason is because everybody expects to find the toilet clean and therefore doesn’t notice if it has been cleaned. However if it’s not clean everybody notices and complains. This is the opposite to DIY …. when a DIY project is completed it id very noticeable because it usually improves your life, so everyone is immediately grateful.
Having said all that, cleaning toilets should not be considered part of motherhood but sadly it usually is.
Oh so true!