Five secrets of The Confident Mother

In January 2015, I hosted an incredible online conference The Confident Mother. You can download the free workbook here. When you register, you will find out how to access the complete library of 20+ interviews including Dame Sarah Storey, Paralympian Cyclist and Toni Brodelle, Director at the Pay It Forward Foundation. Here are the top five secrets from The Confident Mother:

1  Self-love 

You need to love yourself i.e. show yourself compassion in your thoughts and feelings. It is OK to take “me” time; in fact it is essential to nurture yourself. Do you recognise your stress triggers? Have a list of coping strategies available – for some that might be a deep bath with candles, for others a brisk walk round the block, 5 minutes dancing to loud music or simply a good cup of tea in peace and quiet. Remember that children learn from what we do rather than what we say.

2  Be fully present

Pay full attention to your children when you are with them. Don’t waste time on feeling guilty or worrying about how little time you have, simply enjoy the time you do have. Being present means not checking your email when you are reading the bedtime story; preparing and eating meals together; giving your child time to talk.

3  Forgiveness

When things go wrong, forgive yourself and forgive others. You don’t need to be the perfect mother; good enough really is good enough. If you get it wrong, say sorry. And if you are tired and grumpy, then say so. You don’t need to hide your feelings to ‘protect’ your child.

4  Focus on what is most important

Do you do too much because you are trying to please everybody? Take time to think about what is most important to you and focus on that first.

5  Hug somebody for 20 seconds every day

A hug that lasts 20 seconds releases oxytocin (aka the ‘happy hormone’) which helps you to feel calm and relaxed. A simple hug every day increases happiness.

I hope you like these five secrets from The Confident Mother. What secret would you add to this list?

If you’re in the UK Happy Mother’s Day for Sunday.