The mammogram. The biopsy. The results.
Approximately 9.35am on Thursday 7 June, I discovered that I have breast cancer. It wasn’t the news I wanted or expected.
Telling myself “I am invincible” didn’t work that day.
The good news though. It’s small. It’s curable. It’s been caught early.
Surgery on 4 July and radiotherapy 6 week later.
Not completing the #MightyHike
Oh the irony of fundraising for Macmillan Cancer Support and the #MightyHike. I won’t be able to start the 26 mile hike on 7 July as I will have only just had surgery. Though I won’t stop fundraising and I won’t stop training.
Being outdoors in nature and being active is good for my physical and mental health, and that’s going to be more important than ever over the next few weeks.
I resolve to be open and positive about the cancer, the treatment and my recovery. There’s so much fear around ‘cancer’ and I would love to help reduce that fear by being open and honest about how I’m feeling.
I’ve had a few weepy days since the diagnosis.
On the Saturday I took out my anger on the weeds in my garden!
On Sunday, I was completely exhausted. I felt lethargic with no energy. My training plan was for a back-to-back weekend i.e. 7 hours walking on Saturday and 4 hours on Sunday. That plan went out the window.
Everything is a blur
After the diagnosis on Thursday morning, everything is a blur.
I went into autoplay.
I got on the train and went into the office.
I realised very quickly that was a mistake. I couldn’t stop crying … I kept wiping away the tears, but they kept coming.
It’s so not fair. I’m fit. I’m healthy. I’m active. I don’t smoke. I run marathons. I breastfed my daughters for way longer than the average woman.
As I got off the train, and walked towards the office, I could feel myself hyperventilating. My legs were shaking. But I thought to myself “Now I’m here, let’s at least talk to HR”.
That was possibly one of the worst conversations I’ve ever had at work. Then I went home.
Why you need to focus on what you control
10 days later and I’m feeling calmer. I still weep silently from time to time.
Last Friday, I recorded a live video of why you need to focus on what you control.
I can’t control everything. I can’t control the cancer. Or the surgery. Or the way that others respond to my news.
I can control what I share. I can control my own self-care. I can control what I what eat and drink. I can control what I read on the internet about cancer. I can control the support network that I put in place. I can control my workload to a certain extent.
It’s so important to focus your time and your energy on what you control. Not what others control.
If you’d planned on working with me in the next 2 or 3 months, you’ll need to wait while I take a step back from client work and speaking engagements. I may offer a few one hour action plan sessions or live Q&As so that you can at least figure out the next steps in your career or business plans. Maybe.
And I’ll keep going with my weekly newsletter as much as I can. (And I promise not to talk about cancer every week). Sign up here to get your career and confidence tips direct into your Inbox every week.