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The Confident Mother

Helping ambitious women in technology fully unlock their leadership potential

12th January 2022

How My Shame About Wealth Stopped Me Telling You

A few years ago I wrote an article on Why New Year Resolutions Are A Complete Waste of Time. Radical thinking perhaps. But there’s more to it than the simple headline. 

New Year Resolutions are a waste of time if you don’t have the emotional connection with WHY a particular resolution is important to you. 

Then you need to have a strategy or a plan to help you achieve your resolutions. 

I tend to set my “New Year Resolutions” in November so that I have time to figure out the strategy and create the action plan so that I can be successful with the resolution from 1 January rather than spend January in planning mode. 

What’s your theme for the year? 

What I’ve been doing for the past few years is to set a theme or a focus for my year. 

In 2017 it was Leadership and Balance. 

In 2018 it was Challenge – be careful what you wish for because that’s the year I got my cancer diagnosis! 

2019 for me was about Simplicity. 

2020 and 2021 – I don’t remember is the honest truth! 

How My Shame Stopped Me Telling You

I used the series of self-reflection prompts on The Confident Mother Facebook page to reflect on 2021 and what I want for 2022. (Search for the hashtag #24daysofreflection to see the full set).

The focus for 2022 popped into my head straight away when I started to reflect on what I wanted to prioritise this year. 

My next thought was “I can’t prioritise that. What will people think.”

And for that reason, I’ve avoided writing about themes, goals and resolutions for 2022 because, at first, I felt embarrassed and ashamed to be open and honest about my focus for 2022.

I wondered what you would think of me. Whether you would still like me. Or value me.

A self-sabotaging strategy

As a coach, I was able to recognise straight away that this is a mindset block. A self-sabotaging strategy. 

Even so … it’s taken me 5 weeks to say out loud that my theme for 2022 is WEALTH. There I said it. 

I spoke it out loud for the first time earlier this week in my monthly accountability session with my business buddy.

And now you know too that in 2022 I want to focus and prioritise WEALTH. 

I am not ashamed of wanting more money. 

I am not afraid to charge people for the services I offer. 

I’m not embarrassed that I’m not the cheapest coach. 

Justifying my desire

And I could justify this by telling you that I know that people get huge value when they work with me or that you can access my career confidence and job search knowledge and experience on my website, for free, or that I offer my Job Search Confidence programme free of charge to the Woman’s Trust clients. 

I’m a coach. I’ve done the mindset work. I do not need to justify my desire for more wealth. 

However I wanted to share with you my immediate embarrassment and shame when the idea of wanting more wealth first popped into my head. I shooed the idea away. But then I thought, NO. I’m allowed to want more money. 

Money is powerful. Money allows me to do more in my local community. Money allows me to look after my family. Money gives me freedom. 

Five years ago I would have shooed the thought away and come up with another word.

If you find yourself shooing away your first thoughts …

If you find yourself shooing away the first thoughts that pop into your head when you ask yourself “what do I want to focus on in 2022”, the next question to ask is WHY. 

Why are you shooing that thought away? What don’t you like about that thought? What emotions or feelings are lying beneath the surface? 

It’s worth taking the time to explore this. 

Money mindset recommendations

And if you have mindset blocks around money (well that’s pretty much all of us), three amazing resources I highly recommend: 

  • Jen Sincero – You Are a Badass at Making Money
  • Denise Duffield-Thomas – Get Rich, Lucky Bitch 
  • Michelle Gyimah – Equality Pays 

Now that I’ve shared my 2022 theme with you, I’d love to hear from you.

What’s your word or theme for the year? Post in the comments below.

Article by Sherry Bevan / Goals, mindset Leave a Comment

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