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The Confident Mother

Helping ambitious women in technology fully unlock their leadership potential

24th September 2019

How to build resilience for when life throws you a curveball

Wow last week I was amazed at how many women wanted to Stretch their Career Comfort Zone. Then life throws me a curveball.

Life repeating itself … on Sunday my husband was back in A&E with extreme stomach pains. He had surgery yesterday and is now recovering well. Thank goodness for the amazing NHS.

However it’s turned the house and family life upside down. So I am putting my brand new thing on hold. I only ever want to give the best of me when I create a new course. 

I could have pushed on through. After all I had already sold several places. I had the course structure. I knew what the modules were going to be. 

It was simply a matter of recording the videos and writing the worksheets. But … 

One of my biggest learnings 

I’ve had my fair share of trauma in my life including broken leg, brain injury, burnout and breast cancer. One of my biggest learnings is to look after myself first. Prioritising yourself is often the easiest thing to drop or stop however it’s also the most important. 

If I don’t look after myself, I can’t give the same quality of service to you or my clients. And I can’t be the mum (or wife) I want to be. 

When life throws you a curveball

When life throws you a curveball, you have a choice. Seriously, you do. Even if it doesn’t feel like it at times.

You can sit down and cry.

You can run away.

You can power on through (at the risk of burnout).

You can sit down, have a good cry and get back up again.

You can stop doing something.

What you do and how you respond to that curveball, depends on how much resilience you have.

When women lack resilience 

When women talk about lacking resilience, it’s often because they are not looking after themselves in the good times as well as the bad times. It’s not just about having ‘me’ time for a long soak in the bath. And yes of course it’s important to be active, eat well, take time to relax yadda yadda yadda. We know all that.

However it’s also about setting clear boundaries and being comfortable to say no to stuff you don’t want to do. And saying no to stuff that you don’t have the time to do. Or delegating. Or asking for help. 

It’s about being fully present when you are in the room. 

It’s about putting yourself first and not just saying Yes to everything without thinking it through. Do things you want to do rather than things someone else thinks you should do.

Burning the candle at both ends

There will occasionally be periods in your life when you are burning the candle at both ends. 

What’s important is that you recognise when that’s happening so that you can take steps to ensure that it’s short-term. Or you put something in place to boost your resilience during that candle-burning-at-both-ends period. Or you stop doing something. 

And that’s why I’m stopping development of my Stretch Your Career Comfort Zone course. I could carry on but I will burn out. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. 

In order to be prepared for when life throws you a curveball, practice looking after yourself first now so that you have the resilience to cope. 

A message from the universe 

Today’s note from the Universe seems particularly appropriate as I was writing this: 

When there is ease and simplicity in your life, Sherry, it’s because earlier you learned a lot.

When there is resistance and obstacles in your life, it’s because there’s even more to learn.

How will you build resilience?

When life throws you a curveball, you will cope more effectively if you have been building your resilience.

How often do you have ease and simplicity in your life? How often do you experience resistance and obstacles?

What will you do today to build your resilience for those times when life throws you a curveball?

p.s. if you like this, you’ll love my weekly email straight into your inbox with tips and tricks on building resilience, confidence and career success. Sign up here.

Article by Sherry Bevan / resilience Leave a Comment

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