How to make difficult decisions when you feel conflicted

I came up with the idea for The Confident Mother Book Club last year while recovering from cancer treatment.

I wanted to read more books on personal development, mindset growth and career confidence but didn’t know where to start with choosing a book.

Lightbulb moment – join a subscription book club.

But I couldn’t find one that specialised in books to inspire me to think, act and grow. So I created my own subscription book club.

And I have LOVED LOVED LOVED doing it …. however it takes a lot of time to wrap the books, write out the postcards, visit the post office etc.

One thing I have learned this past year is that I need more time to look after me. Seems obvious because it’s what I tell my clients ALL.THE.TIME.

Look after yourself first.

I was really conflicted

I was really conflicted … should I keep going or should I stop? Would my subscribers judge me if I stopped after ten months? What about the investment I’ve made – time and money? And how will it affect how I feel about books?

Deep down, if I’m really honest with myself, will people think I’m a failure? Will people still love me?

One of my biggest insights from the book club and the books I’ve been reading is how I’d been holding back from buying books.

I LOVE books and I love reading. Yet I hadn’t given myself permission to read for my own personal development reasons.

I was being too logical, too analytical. Trying to justify purchases when there is no bigger justification than to think, act and grow!

How I made the difficult decision

I was finding this a really difficult decision.

Then I asked myself: if a client was struggling to make a decision, what would you recommend? I remembered the Cartesian questions.

The Cartesian questions are a way of opening your mind to explore possibilities. They can be incredibly powerful … when you respond instinctively.

I asked myself these questions and the decision was made easy.

Question 1 – What would happen if you DO stop the book club?

Question 2 – What would happen if you DON’T stop the book club?

Question 3 – What wouldn’t happen if you DO stop the book club?

Question 4 – What wouldn’t happen if you DON’T stop the book club?

The easy decision

My easy decision is that I will no longer run the book club in its current (subscription) format.

The current book, Playing Big by Tara Mohr, will be the last I send out.

The good news

You can still get my recommendations for amazing personal development books and buy the hard copy or listen to the audio version or even borrow from the library.

Check out this list of 50 Personal Development books here.

Decisions + actions = energy + freedom

As with any difficult decision, once it was made, it was so much easier to take action.

Making that decision and taking action gave me the energy to get things done, make an announcement and feel the freedom now that the decision and conflict are no longer hanging over me.

So if you have a difficult decision to make and you feel conflicted, try out the Cartesian questions.

Answer instinctively and you will come to the right decisions for you.