One of the scariest things I’ve ever done

I watched from the window as my husband and daughter got into the taxi and left for the airport.

This is it.

I’m on my own now.

I felt butterflies in my tummy.

Will I survive? Will I be ok? Will I be safe? Will it be worth it?

But before I tell you how I’ve ended up living in Spain by myself, let me take you back a few years to where it all began.

You might remember the BBC series Pilgrimage in 2018 about a group of celebrities of different faiths walking the Camino to Santiago de Compostela in Spain.

I loved that programme and was inspired by the moments of clarity that each participant felt at different times during the Camino. I’d already signed up to do a long distance walk to fundraise for Macmillan Cancer Support. Watching Pilgrimage inspired me to tackle the Camino next.

The Jurassic Coast Mighty Hike was one of the hardest physical challenges I’d ever done. At the end, I said ‘Never ever EVER again’ … until I met Heather.

I met bubbly Heather Waring at my City Conversations networking dinner. Heather runs One Million Women Walking and she’s on a mission to impact the lives of women through the very simple and yet often underrated activity of walking.

I was fascinated as she talked about the Camino walks she organises. The seed was sown. A few months later, I signed up and started training.

Then Covid, lockdown, yadda yadda. Finally we did the walk three years later in 2023.

Walking is great for your physical and mental wellbeing because it gives you time out of your normal day and gives you headspace to really properly think about what you want and how to get it. Additionally, when you walk with Heather, she offers an element of coaching.

At the start in Vigo, I expected to cry for my father. He’d died in the height of lockdown. We were allowed no more than 12 people at the funeral. I didn’t feel like I’d properly grieved at the time because overnight I became full-time carer to his wife who was very frail and suffering from dementia.

Surprisingly what came up for me instead … how will I spend the next 10 years before I retire? What adventures will I go on? What travelling will I do? Let’s not wait – let’s do stuff now while I have energy and health.

I came back full of enthusiasm and intentions to do more, travel more, feel more … and that’s how I came to watch my family get into a taxi and leave me behind in Malaga.

One of the scariest things I’ve ever done: living alone in a country where I have no friends and no family.

In a next blog post, I’ll share my mistakes and learnings so far.