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The Confident Mother

Helping ambitious women in technology fully unlock their leadership potential

7th April 2015

The shocking truth behind the working mum’s guilt

The working mum, regardless of whether she works for an employer or runs her own business, is in constant danger of being overwhelmed by guilt, especially during the school holidays. Or so I thought.

So often we talk about the working mum, but what about the working dad? I did a Google search on “working mum guilt”, 534,000 results come back. Yet amazingly, when I searched “working dad guilt”, there were 17,500,000 results. What the … why is there such a HUGE difference. I was honestly expecting the difference to be the other way round. Surely there are not more commentators and articles on working dads than there are on working mums? Even if I change the spelling to the more US centric “working mom guilt”, I only get 1,980,000 results.

What is going on? Is this equality for the sexes gone completely wrong? Working mums don’t even get the lion’s share of guilt?

Yes, there is a new piece of research published by the Pew Research Center in the April 2015 issue of Journal of Marriage and Family which essentially tells us that working dads feel just as much guilt as working mums. It seems that almost half of working dads feel that they do not have enough time with their children.

Quite honestly I’m conflicted here. Yes it’s fantastic that dads (and therefore society) have woken up to the fact that children need them. Dads are feeling the conflict of working long hours and the increased expectations of them as parents. Yet why is it in newspapers, on blog posts, in job interviews – so often I hear from working mum clients, that she was asked about her childcare arrangements and the working dad is not? Why are there SO many more results on “working dad guilt” or “how to be a happy working dad” than for working mums?

Search (Googled 7 April 2015) Results

  • Working mum guilt – 534,000
  • Working mom guilt – 1,980,000
  • Working dad guilt – 17,500,000
  • How to be happy working mum – 13,600,000
  • How to be happy working dad – 50,300,000

Several blogs that I have read talk about the Internet being rife with stories of “working mum’s guilt” and yet my quick research proves the opposite. In fact the internet is rife with the working dad’s guilt.

Well, ya boo sucks to them. I hope this post goes a little way to reversing the trend.

Are you a working mum or business mum dealing with guilt?
Do you struggle to balance work and family life? Do you worry you are damaging your relationship with your children? You’ll love my free guide 5 Essential Secrets the Business Mum Needs to Ditch the Guilt with Confidence.

Ditch the guilt with confidence for the business mum

Article by Sherry Bevan / Working mums 7 Comments

Comments

  1. Adventures of a Novice Mum says

    7th April 2015 at 10:46 pm

    Very interesting result; considering what one mostly hears, I would have thought it would be the other way round too. Pleased you shared this. 🙂 #aNoviceMumTwitterFeed

    Reply
  2. SherryB says

    7th April 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Thank you. I was really surprised at the results. I’d intended to blog about something slightly different but I couldn’t not share what I found!

    Reply
  3. Robyn says

    8th April 2015 at 10:21 pm

    I would have never dreamed it would be the dad’s but now, having read your post it sort of makes sense. No disrespect to dads, but even after working all day it is typically mom who still does the homework help, dinners, baths, etc.. So while dad’s are still working mom is getting a bit of kid time. Maybe?

    Reply
    • SherryB says

      9th April 2015 at 9:33 am

      Yes I can understand why Dads are starting to feel the pressures, and the guilt, but the difference in search results is quite extraordinary.

      Reply
  4. kimberly says

    9th April 2015 at 11:32 am

    Interesting findings. Its kind of nice to know that dad’s feel that way, although guilt is not a very nice thing!!
    I guess Robyn has a point too. Working or not mom’s do get extra kid time than dads in many cases and maybe they feel a bit left out. The figures are astonishing though!

    Reply
  5. Sarah says

    10th April 2015 at 1:41 pm

    That was a surprise to read Sherry! I know dads who have to work away from home when they don’t want to. Finances can dictate and it can leave people feeling low; even depressed at what they’re missing out on at home. I’m not a mum (sob) .. however I can see how the balance between providing what you feel your children need and having the life you feel is best for your yourself and your family must be very stressful at times.

    Reply

Trackbacks

  1. What triggers the working mum’s guilt | Sherry Bevan Consulting says:
    14th April 2015 at 8:17 pm

    […] redress the balance of the number of articles about working mum’s guilt vs working dad’s guilt, I wanted to […]

    Reply

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