If you’ve never been to a Baby Café before, you might be wondering what actually happens when you walk through the door.
Do you need to book? What if you’re nervous about coming on your own? Can you bring your partner? What if your baby is crying? And, perhaps most importantly, will someone actually be able to help with whatever is going on with your feeding?
So I thought I’d explain exactly what happens at Baby Cafe Bromley.
What is Baby Café Bromley?
Baby Café Bromley is part of a national network of Baby Cafés run by NCT, the parenting charity. Baby Cafés across the UK are funded in different ways – some through the National Lottery, some through donations and other funding sources.
Here in Bromley, our Baby Café is funded by the National Lottery.
We’re a friendly, informal drop-in session offering support with breastfeeding and infant feeding. There is no appointment system and you don’t need to book in advance.
Baby Café Bromley takes place every Monday from 10am to 12 noon at:
St Augustine’s Church
Southborough Lane
Bromley
BR2 8AT
We’re in the Barnard Room, round the back of the church.
When you come to the main entrance of the church, turn left and you’ll find the Barnard Room around the back.
There is a free car park at the church. If it’s full – perhaps because there’s a yoga class or another activity taking place – there is plenty of free street parking in the surrounding streets.
We’re also on the 208 bus route. Get off at The Fairway bus stop, which is about a minute’s walk from the church.
You don’t need to book
One of the things I really want parents to know is that Baby Café is a genuine drop-in.
You don’t need to book an appointment.
You don’t need to arrive at 10am.
You can turn up at 10.15, 10.45, 11am or 11.30am. You can come when it works for you.
The only thing I would say is that if you’re coming specifically because you need feeding support, please try to arrive by 11.30am, because we close at 12 noon.
And don’t worry if you’re not sure whether your question is “important enough”. If something is worrying you about feeding, come along and ask.
What happens when you arrive?
When you walk into the Barnard Room, you’ll see a circle of chairs already set out.
There’s an information table with various leaflets and resources, and there’s a kitchen area where you can help yourself to tea, coffee or water. There are biscuits and, if I’ve been baking at the weekend, sometimes homemade cake too.
I know what it’s like when you’re a new parent. You can go for hours without managing to sit down and drink a hot cup of tea while it’s still hot!
So if I’m free, I’m very happy to make you a drink and offer you some cake. If I’m already busy talking to another parent, please just help yourself.
There’s plenty of space for pushchairs inside the hall, so you don’t need to worry about where you’re going to put your buggy.
And on a really hot day, the Barnard Room is beautifully cool. It’s actually a lovely place to be when everywhere else feels far too hot.
I’ll introduce myself – I’m normally wearing my NCT badge or lanyard – and then I’ll ask you a few questions.
I’ll need your name, the first three letters of your postcode and your baby’s date of birth.
That’s not because I’m being nosy!
Your name simply helps me remember who you are and means we can have a more personal, friendly conversation.
I collect the postcode and baby’s date of birth because we use this information anonymously as part of our funding applications. Funders want to know who is using the service and whether we’re reaching the local families we’re here to support.
For example, we might be able to demonstrate that a certain percentage of the parents coming to Baby Café live within a couple of miles of the venue, or that a particular percentage have babies under six weeks old.
That evidence helps us demonstrate the value of Baby Café when we’re applying for funding to keep the service going.
Then we talk about what’s going on
This is really the heart of Baby Café.
I’ll ask you something along the lines of:
“So, how’s feeding going”
And that’s where the conversation starts.
Perhaps breastfeeding is painful.
Perhaps you’re worried about your milk supply.
Perhaps your nipples are really sore.
Perhaps you’re struggling to get your baby to latch on.
Perhaps you’re wondering whether your baby has a tongue tie.
Perhaps you’d like to try a different breastfeeding position.
Perhaps you’re going back to work and you’re exclusively breastfeeding and you’re wondering how on earth you’re going to manage the transition.
Perhaps you’re thinking about starting solids.
Or perhaps you’re expressing your milk and giving it to your baby in a bottle and you’ve got questions about that.
You might be giving formula milk.
You might be breastfeeding directly.
You might be using nipple shields.
Or you might be doing a combination of several of these things.
That’s all absolutely fine.
Infant feeding doesn’t always fit neatly into one particular box, and you don’t have to be exclusively breastfeeding to come to Baby Cafe.
Whatever your feeding journey looks like, if you have a question or something isn’t working as you’d hoped, you’re welcome to come and talk to me.
How long do you stay?
That really depends.
Sometimes you might have a relatively straightforward question and we can talk it through in 15 or 20 minutes.
Other times, you might need more hands-on support.
For example, perhaps you’d like some help getting your baby to latch on. We can work through that together and, once your baby is feeding, you’re welcome to stay and feed for as long as your baby wants to feed.
Sometimes a mum will arrive near the beginning of the session and still be there when I’m packing everything away at the end.
That’s completely fine.
There isn’t a stopwatch running.
You don’t have to rush off because you’ve had your allotted 20 minutes.
Come in, get the support you need and take your time.
Most parents who come to Baby Café will visit two or three times, although of course it varies from person to person.
Can I bring my partner or another supporter?
Absolutely.
Partners and other supporters are very welcome at Baby Café.
And if you need to bring an older child, that’s fine too.
We don’t have access to toys, books, puzzles or other things to keep older children entertained, though, so if you are bringing a toddler or school-age child, I’d recommend bringing something along for them to do.
We normally don’t have many older children because Baby Café takes place during school hours, but obviously during school holidays this can be more difficult for parents.
Don’t let that stop you coming.
We’re open throughout the year
Baby Café Bromley runs throughout the year, including school holidays.
I usually open at Christmas too, and we are open on most bank holiday Mondays.
There are a few exceptions.
Sometimes the church needs to use the whole church including the Barnard Room for special activities, such as their Christmas or Easter events. On those occasions, we may have to close or occasionally move temporarily to another location.
I normally take the August bank holiday off as well.
Otherwise, we’re here.
Who will be there to support you?
There will always be an experienced NCT breastfeeding counsellor providing the support.
Most of the time, that will be me, Sherry Bevan.
I’ve been a breastfeeding counsellor since 2010, so I’ve been doing this for a long time!
I’ve also worked as a breastfeeding counsellor for the NHS and have spoken on stage at The Baby Show.
I’ve supported hundreds of parents over the years and have worked in the local community for many years.
So if you’re feeling nervous about coming along, please be reassured that you’re in experienced hands.
You don’t need to have worked out exactly what’s wrong before you arrive.
You don’t need to know what question to ask.
You don’t need to have a particular feeding goal.
And you certainly don’t need to feel embarrassed if things aren’t going the way you’d hoped.
Just come along and we’ll work it out together.
So, if you’re wondering whether Baby Café is for you…
If you’re pregnant and thinking ahead about breastfeeding, you’re welcome.
If your baby is two days old, you’re welcome.
If your baby is two weeks old and feeding is proving harder than you expected, you’re welcome.
If your baby is six months old and you’re wondering how to combine breastfeeding with starting solids, you’re welcome.
If you’re going back to work, you’re welcome.
If you’re expressing, combination feeding, formula feeding or breastfeeding directly, you’re welcome.
If you’re not even sure what kind of support you need, you’re welcome.
You don’t need an appointment. You don’t need to be referred. You don’t need to know exactly what you’re doing.
Just turn up.
I’ll put the kettle on.
Where to get support
NCT Infant Feeding Line open 8am to midnight, every day of the year: 0300 330 0700
National Breastfeeding Line available 24 hours a day, every day of the year: 0300 100 0212.
Find local expert support in the UK Breastfeeding Directory.
If you’re local to Bromley, pop in and see me at Baby Cafe Bromley on Monday mornings. Or book a private 1:1 home visit.
Read Sherry’s book The Confident Mother.
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