Two weeks into The Confident Mother online conference, and forgive me if I feel a little weary.
The late nights, the pressure (self-imposed) to blog daily, the stress level rising when a speaker can’t connect, the constant worry that a speaker would cancel on me at the last minute … seriously, I am feeling physically tired.
However I am L O V I N G the response and the feedback I’m getting. Just yesterday, I received a message that this event has literally been a life saver for a single mum these last couple of weeks. I have had such an incredible response. I cannot wait to bring you my next events, The Confident Mother live! and The Confident Father.
From everything I have heard so far from my speakers and from my pre-interview research, these are the secrets to being a confident mother:
- self-love: a mother needs to have self-love i.e. show herself compassion and forgiveness in her thoughts, feelings and physically in order to develop her self-esteem. Do look after yourself. Do take “me” time. Do learn to spot your stress or overwhelm triggers and have a list of coping strategies available. If we show ourselves self-love, if we value ourselves, if our children see that we value ourselves, it teaches people, your children how to treat you … they learn how to treat others.
- being fully present: nearly all of the speakers have talked about this concept of being fully present with our children. Don’t waste time on feeling guilty or worrying about how little time you have, just get on and enjoy the time you do have. Being present means talking to your baby or child in a gentle and respectful way; talking to your child not staring at your iPhone when you are together; eating meals together. But also if you are tired and grumpy, say so. Don’t hide those feelings to ‘protect’ your child.
- forgiveness: when things go wrong, forgive yourself and forgive others. You don’t need to be good enough all the time. You don’t need to be the perfect mother. If you get it wrong, say sorry. If you didn’t have a great experience of being parented, that’s ok. It does not mean you cannot be a “good” parent. Effective parenting can be learned though you may need to learn self-love first.
- be true to your core values: as a coach, so often life for my clients is chaotic or frustrating or miserable when we are not being true to our own core values. If being a working mum is really important to you, that’s ok. If you want to run your own business and being at the school gates every day is really important, make it happen. If you believe that gentle parenting is essential, do it. Find ways. You can do whatever you believe you can do. Believe in yourself. Be faithful to your core values.
So what do you believe is the secret to being a confident mother? Do leave a comment with your thoughts.
In the meantime, I want you to invest in your copy of the complete library. There is so much goodness and honesty and authenticity throughout the series of interviews. After 31 January, the interviews will only be available through my private members club.
And PLEASE do join me to wrap up and celebrate the first ever running of The Confident Mother on Friday at 8pm. There will be champagne … virtually of course.