What’s stops us from making decisions? Well pretty much the same as what’s stopping you from making THAT decision. What decision? Oh yes, I can tell. You’ve found this post because there’s a decision in your mind just waiting to be taken.
I made a BIG decision at the weekend.
It’s a decision that I’ve been putting off. I was worried what others might think or say. I wondered if it meant I’d been wasting my time. Or that I wasn’t good enough. Or being lazy. Or giving up too easily. Or too soon. I was finding it difficult – really difficult – to give myself permission to do the right thing for me.
What is this big decision?
I decided to NOT run the London Marathon. Now I know, some of you are thinking “Are you crazy – why would you even want to run the London Marathon in the first place”. However I had a place through the ballot that I ‘won’ 18 months ago. I had to defer last year because I was injured and couldn’t run for several months. So I felt obliged to do the race this year. After all, I belong to a running club, I coach beginners, I am not injured …
However this year, my head’s just not been in the right place. I’m not excited about it. My training’s been ok but not enough. My injury is still niggling but not enough to stop running. On Friday, with time to stop and focus (with it being a Bank Holiday in the UK), I finally made the decision. I gave myself permission to not run. 26.2 miles is a long way when you’re fit. Even longer when you’re not race fit. I’ll feel envious on the day, I’m sure. But this is the decision that fits me.
I’ve got other big decisions brewing at the moment. Perhaps you’re like me – I find some decisions easy to make (milk chocolate or dark, for example). Others you simply need the facts, you review the pros and cons, make the decision, and take action.
When emotions are involved
However when there are emotions involved, or subconsciously you are seeking approval, or you can’t be certain of the outcome, or you’re scared, decisions are SO much harder.
Decisions such as do I go back to work or stay at home; do I go back to employment or set up as freelance; should I go back to my previous career or do something completely different; do I go where the money is or specialise in what I am most passionate about. Even sometimes, what seems on the surface to be a simple decision “should I paint the house white or cream”, if you’re putting off that decision, it could well be there’s emotion in there somewhere. Perhaps you don’t want to upset the neighbours. You don’t want to stand out. You don’t want to make the ‘wrong’ decision.
What helps with making decisions
What helps me with decision making, is time to focus and reflect. I ask myself “what is the worst that could happen if I do x”. I get feedback from a few friends. Or my business coach. I ask my children. I look at what others are doing. I visualise what I want. But most of all it’s having clear uncluttered time to focus on the issue at hand.
Take time to focus ON your decisions – what you really want
I was reminded of this when I talked to a mum last week – she attended my Vision workshop last year. Since then, so much has changed for the better, for her and for her family. After the workshop, she and her husband sat down and spent time focussing on what they really wanted for the business and for the family. She said it was the first time they’d done this. Ever. They spent time ON the family business rather than just spending time IN the business. It gave them clarity and as a result the confidence to make the right decisions for a happy family life.
This is one of the reasons I love my mastermind – I have time to focus ON my business which gives me clarity. Many of the mums I’ve talked to recently aren’t familiar with the mastermind concept. Some mums are already in a group but they don’t call it a mastermind so didn’t even know that’s what they were in.
A mastermind is simply a group of like-minded individuals who come together for a common purpose or goal, to share their knowledge, skills and experience. Put that way, I’m sure you can think of times when you have been part of a mastermind group.
In the mastermind, I have time to really focus ON the business decisions that I want to take. But it’s not so much the time to focus on the decision but time to focus on what I really want.
Some mums I’ve talked feel like they just don’t have time to spend ON themselves; on their career or on their business. But honestly, spending time ON your career is never wasted time. Far better to take time to make decisions that fit you and your family than spend hours busy IN work to realise a few weeks or months later, you were too busy being busy to make the right decisions for you.
What about you?
What are the decisions that you are putting off? How much easier it would be to have uncluttered time, out of your normal every day environment, to explore your decision and what’s stopping you from taking it. I made my marathon running experience on a day off from work and my normal day-to-day activities. Suddenly the decision was crystal clear.
If you like the sound of taking time to focus ON your decisions, let’s talk. If you know that you want that feeling of confidence and clarity but you also know that you need help, let’s talk. Click here to find a date and time that works for you.
There’s absolutely no commitment but as an action-taker myself, I will encourage you to take action, whether that’s to work with me or to take a different first step.