What triggers the working mum’s guilt?

To redress the balance of the number of articles about working mum’s guilt vs working dad’s guilt, I wanted to share what triggers guilt for the working or business mum. These are comments and thoughts from mums all over the country in The Confident Mother.

• “Working too much and juggling work/ home life balance, but the need to earn money to provide too. Now guilt between making sure both children’s needs are met (time spent with both) as the age gap is larger so often the same activity doesn’t suit both kiddies. Guilt for the husband who has to put up with me! Lol”. Mum of two, aged 6 and 1.

• “I frequently feel guilty. D and C’s school only do performances etc during school hours – I commute so even though I work ‘school hours’, I rarely am home before 6pm. They often don’t have time/ energy to do homework either due to getting home so late from various family members.” Mum of twins aged 10.

• “I very rarely feel guilt when it comes to my kids. They are well looked after and I hope I’ve taught them well enough to know that the things they have in life are a luxury and therefore if they want to keep them I need to work and then have some ‘me’ time. I sometimes think I need to spend a little more time with them and I am working on that.” Mum of three.

• “I experience guilt regularly. As a part time parent is hard to not feel guilty. For a long time I felt it because I put my children in a position of having to travel between 2 houses. Then I was a bad parent because I wasn’t there every time they might have needed me to be – they had to wait until it was a visit day.”

• “Not balancing work/home life well. Not being good enough, entertaining enough.”

• “Every time I take them for a blood test as they hate it sooooo much. Then I feel guilty towards the staff in the hospital that my children are the ones making more noise than all other children in the room”. Mum of two.

• “When I worked full-time I felt guilty every minute of every day for only being with them when they were sick or weekends. I felt guilty for not attending sports days, special assemblies and rushed or tired during parents evenings… The list really goes on.” Single mum of two.

• “When my little boy told me with tears in his eyes (which then started rolling down his face) that the teacher asked for parents to accompany the class to the swimming pool, but he didn’t bother giving my name, as I was always working and didn’t have time (I’d been overseas at meetings a lot just prior to that). The week after, rest assured I had a very important meeting on Tuesday afternoon (at the swimming pool).”

• “Always feel guilty. Working too much, not playing enough, on my phone not focused on them enough, having to rely on people to help look after them so I can work, if they are ill the guilt between needing having to go to work and leaving them. Guilt that I enjoy my time alone when they are with their dad.”

• “Do I spend enough time with my kids? My second is definitely getting less attention than my first. We can’t afford the same level of going to groups, activities etc. I shout a lot and then feel guilty that maybe I could have handled things better. Feel guilty that maybe I expect too much from them.”

• “My guilt feelings are Working so I don’t feel I spend enough time with my daughter. I often work weekends as well as weekdays and the days I do get off, it’s housework and running her to clubs. I don’t feel a confident mother, I think I’m not very maternal and can sometimes get very cross at her if she gets hurt or does something stupid instead of wrapping her up and soothing. I sometimes think I’m trying too hard to teach her instead of letting her get away with some stuff and not nurturing her.”

Does any of this resonate for you? Do you struggle to balance work and family life? Do you worry you are missing out on time with your children? All this month I am giving away my free guide
“5 Essential Secrets to Ditch the Guilt with Confidence”.