What will you focus on first?

Last week was incredible as I launched my global online conference, The Confident Mother. I really do love what I do. I feel so honoured and so privileged to be able to interview such inspirational women for The Confident Mother. We are covering a wide range of topics so it is important that you decide what to focus on first otherwise you may well find yourself feeling even more overwhelmed or confused or in a complete whirl of emotions and feelings.

And we still have two weeks to go. I love the buzz and the feedback I’ve received already. One mum told me she loved the mantra “I can, I am, I will”. She’s been saying that to herself every day AND it’s working! I love that mums are enjoying the interviews and finding inspiration from the speakers. I know I am definitely having an absolute ball. And learning so much. We never stop learning, do we.

Highlights so far from The Confident Mother online conference (you are signed up, right? if not, click here).

I launched the conference by exploring how you can celebrate and love life as a woman and as a mother. For me it’s about getting the balance that’s just right for you now at this stage in your life. How you balance these five elements, work, wellness, contribution, family and the feminine, will change at different times in your life. Your Confidence Circle ten years ago may look completely different to what it looks like today, or in ten months time. Enter “Circle” into the search box, and you’ll see a few examples of the Confidence Circle and how it might change depending on how you are currently focusing your energy or priority.

First author Laura Dodsworth talked about her Bare Reality project. She described it as her most transformational experience since becoming a mother and that as a result she liked herself more as a woman. I love how Laura has brought together her photography with her passion for words and stories. What is so important about her project is that none of the images are airbrushed. I can’t wait to discover her next project – she was not yet ready to share but it sounded intriguing.

Then Elizabeth O’Shea shared some brilliant tips on how to help our children manage their emotions and feelings, surely something every parents wants to know how to do better. Elizabeth is a real expert in this topic and I picked up so many helpful tips. (And this despite the embarrassing technology failures – you only saw the tip of the iceberg!) Already I have been teaching her conflict in the playground steps to my youngest daughter. The realisation for me in this interview is that as parents, we really do model behaviour for our children. So much of what Elizabeth described is really about teaching your child life skills.

As popular as ever, Jo Cormack was brilliant at showing us how to cope with picky eating. It was great to talk to Jo again and remind me of some of the not so positive habits around picky eating that I have slipped back into. What was powerful for me is the lesson that eating is not a behaviour … that picky eating is not a behavioural issue. I was fascinated to hear about the neural pathways and how these get stronger if you keep on avoiding foods; but if you confront them, the neural pathway gets weaker. So much wisdom in this interview.

Wednesday evening, Fi Feehan took us through a process to find our true purpose. It was with Fi’s help a couple of years ago that I finally accepted and acknowledged my true purpose – to nurture and inspire women to feel truly powerful. I loved this interview … I use a very similar true purpose exercise with the women that I work with. When you understand your ONE thing, your true purpose, your mission or your contribution to the world, and you then focus on that ONE thing, life often becomes so much easier.

Emily Thorpe and I discussed guilt on Thursday. The most important message is that guilt does not have to be part of our experience as a mum. Emily says she hasn’t felt guilty for about six years. The turning point for her was when her son said to her when she walked through the door “Where’s my thing?” and response was “I’m your thing. Mummy is home.” That was the trigger that prompted her to take action. Guilt can be a signal that there is something not quite right … that it’s time to make a decision or take action. Guilt can have a positive outcome because it can act as a compass or a catalyst for change. Again what came through strongly is that as adults, as parents, as mothers, we model behaviour for our children. None of us want our children feeling guilty all their lives. So let’s not model guilt and martyrdom to our children.

To finish the week, Vicky Warr shared some fabulous tips on how to have more energy … not only the energy boosting habits we can develop but also what zaps our energy. Loved this session – the one action I’m taking is to not use my snooze button as Vicky explained how it can fragment your sleep. (Not sure I’m being successful on this one yet!) However I was reassured to hear that I do already have several of her energy-boosting habits such as eating a good quality breakfast with protein, eating my evening meal earlier than I used to, and (mostly) ‘switching’ off social media in the evenings.

When I work with women, I want to help them stop the chatter in their heads, and focus on one aspect of their life at a time (be it their career, or family or energy …) So I do see the irony of adding to the confusion with so much information on offer with the conference.

But …. you don’t need to focus on everything at the same time; in fact if you do try and work on it all at once, it can get even more complicated or stressful. I encourage my clients to focus on just one element at a time. Decide what to focus on and pick out the relevant sessions. And if you grab a copy of the recordings, you can come back to the other pieces at any time you want.

What about you? Which element will you focus on first?