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The Confident Mother

Helping ambitious women in technology fully unlock their leadership potential

17th October 2017

Why I have given up …

Tonight I gave up … sometimes you have to look after no 1 first so that everything you do works for you. And tonight I gave up my role as a group run leader. I love my running club. It’s the best in the country. Officially. According to the mini poll I conducted tonight.

The club has grown in the ten years I’ve been a member. From a small group of 30-40 runners gathering outside the memorial hall, we now regularly have 200+ members turning up for their Tuesday night run.

Twice a year, I help to lead a beginners running course. The current course is my eighth one! And I LOVE the beginners course. We take complete beginners or lapsed runners from zero to 5k in 9 weeks. It’s amazing to watch the confidence grow. At first the beginners don’t believe that they’ll able to be run 5k at the end of the course. Tonight as I was leaving the club, I got chatting to one of ‘my’ beginners from last year and he’s gone all way up from Group 1 (our slowest group) to Group 7. In just 18 months.

As a group run leader, I take out one of the 11 running groups on a Tuesday night and sometimes lead the Sunday morning run. I usually take out Group 3 or 4 and we do between 4 and 5 miles, at around 10:30 / 11:30 pace.

The thing is … about 5 years ago I made a mistake. I persuaded my husband to join our beginners course. He loved it and then joined the club. So now we take it in turns. Which means I only get to the club every other week so I am nearly always leading a group.

When you lead a group, typically, it’s the group at the pace below yours. I rarely go to the club to just ‘run’. I don’t get the chance to push myself and move up through the groups. When I lead, I have to really concentrate to keep to the advertised pace; as well as keep an eye on the other runners; be alert for hazards; you’re ‘in charge’ of the route and the pace. Sometimes it would be nice to just run and follow somebody else without wondering “what’s the pavement like on Grosvenor Road” or “are the roadworks still on Orchard Grove or should we take the alternative route“.

Contribution – giving and contributing – is very important to me. I contribute to my running club; I contribute to NCT; and I contribute to local schools. However after 4 years, I am hanging up my run leader high viz vest. I ceremoniously handed it over to a new run leader tonight (rather appropriately, she started in one of our beginner courses).

I was touched to get a round of applause before we left the Rec tonight.

Looking after your own physical and mental wellness is so important, and yet, it’s often the easiest thing to drop. Today I decided I have contributed enough. Now it’s time to look after me and my running.

And that’s why I have given up. To look after me and my wellness. Because every time I say ‘Yes’ to taking out a group, I’m saying ‘No’ to me.

What about you? What are you saying ‘No’ to, when you say ‘Yes’? Take a moment to reflect on that and leave a comment below.

Article by Sherry Bevan / Running, Wellness 12 Comments

Comments

  1. Carrie Eddins says

    17th October 2017 at 10:40 pm

    Sherry, gosh you most certainly walk your talk, amazing 🙂 It really like you say can be so easy to continue to do things out of obligation without putting ourselves first; especially as women. Just this evening I say no to a networking event, and yes to me having more downtime with my family and I am feeling better for it x

    Reply
    • Sherry Bevan says

      18th October 2017 at 7:50 am

      Good for you Carrie.

      Reply
  2. Emma Williams says

    18th October 2017 at 8:38 am

    This is such an important topic. When I work with women they have often taken on many, many hats – some a great fit and others almost painful to wear. Being able to say “enough” is hard but essential. thank you for your example.

    Reply
    • Sherry Bevan says

      18th October 2017 at 8:51 am

      Thank you Emma. We often find it hard to say “enough” don’t we.

      Reply
  3. Sean says

    18th October 2017 at 9:30 am

    Your own health is certainly very important. Without it you can’t be a great parent, worker or anything else in life

    Great post

    Reply
    • Sherry Bevan says

      18th October 2017 at 9:43 am

      Absolutely Sean. Thank you for dropping by.

      Reply
  4. Marion says

    18th October 2017 at 11:12 am

    Sherry I have just given up my School Governor and RICS Assespr roles. It took a lot as they were great experience and I loved doing them but I totally agree – you have to make time for yourself and something has to give.

    I look back and am pleased with what I have contributed and although I did feel a bit guilty at the start, I actually feel a lot better for the things I am now doing for me.

    Reply
    • Sherry Bevan says

      18th October 2017 at 12:12 pm

      That’s good to hear Marion.

      Reply
  5. John Gurney says

    18th October 2017 at 11:49 am

    Sherry you have done a fantastic job I have pushed friends and family into your beginner groups and really proud to say most have kept up the good work. You have made a big impact on lots of lives.

    I am totally with you on following the group rather than leading it’s much more fun to move around chatting amongst group members, than having the responsibility of leading,

    All my very best wishes John

    Reply
    • Sherry Bevan says

      18th October 2017 at 12:14 pm

      John I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and say this. Thank you so much. I do enjoy leading but it’s the extra headspace it takes up.

      Reply
  6. Sue Hanney says

    18th October 2017 at 8:37 pm

    Sherry thank you for all the runs you have led on a Tuesday night. I have taken a break from leading at the moment and can totally understand where you are coming from.
    Hopefully I will get to chat to you on a run sometime soon!

    Reply
    • Sherry Bevan says

      18th October 2017 at 8:42 pm

      Ah thanks Sue. I really appreciate the lovely comments and messages I’ve received. I’m grateful to you too, recalling early days when it was just me and you leading what was Group 2 at the time.

      Reply

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