You are unique

You are unique. You truly are. As unique as every pebble on the beach. Nobody else can be you. Only you have your unique blend of personality, skills, talents and experiences.

However sometimes we find it hard to love ourselves enough to value our uniqueness. Self-love is a vital component when it comes to building and regaining confidence. It’s a foundation in the Wellness element of The Confident Mother Circle.

I learned so much more about self-love when I interviewed Toni Brodelle for The Confident Mother conference.

Toni always asks her clients “Whose love did you crave the most as a child?” and follows up with “In order to have that love, what did you have to do or be?”

I found that incredibly powerful.

In that moment, I understood my drive to be ‘perfect’ and why I don’t like to do anything or give up if there is the possibility of failure. That interview helped me to understand that as a child, I thought I had to be clever to be loved. Clever people don’t make mistakes! Therefore I did not want to ever make a mistake. Because that would mean I was not clever. And if I was not clever, I was not loved.

Oh my gosh, can you see how so many of us end up tortured and twisted because we are searching for love in impossible ways.

How we are parented and loved as children, and how we learned to behave in order to be loved, has an enormous impact on us as adults. It affects our emotional well-being which in turn can affect the way that we parent. In the interview Toni explains how emotional well-being is partly self-esteem, partly emotional resilience, and partly self-care. Taking care of ourselves as mothers is an essential part of nurturing the emotional well-being of our own children. We all have different needs. More of this in the book which you can order online.

As for me, I have learned to let go of perfection – I now consider myself a reformed perfectionist. Or maybe  a recovering perfectionist is more apt. Yes I have high attention to detail, but I don’t let the fear of mistakes get in my way.

Today then I want you to remember that you are unique. Just like a pebble on a beach. Nobody else can be you. Only you have your unique blend of personality, skills, talents and experience.

Be proud to be you.